March 14, 2005

Backfire...big time...

i really have no idea if i shld pity, emphatise with, or allow myself to be totally irritated, put off.
im already trying hard to keep a distance and restrict my communication, if any, when i absolutely have to, to completely superficial stuff, crap, and rubbish talk...all the while trying to find distractions/oppotunities to get out of the "conversation" we're having...its so bad that everything that is said or done will be met with a negative response/reaction/comment either in my head or out loud.

some pple shld really realise when their presence is unwelcomed and know when to back off. this is a case of being over-over-over-friendly...yes...its that bad...i cant emphasize it enough.
it irritates pple and piss them off...which makes pple hostile...which is the reverse of what u set out to achieve...perfect eg of "what not to do to improve your people skills", or "101 ways to lose your friends...if you have any to begin with", or "what you should know about becoming a loner"...u get the point...

i cant help but get this feeling that -- is juz trying to show others that -- has got a lot of frens. to show off to pple around that -- is popular, at least trying to make pple think tt way. of course, i may be wrong.
-- could simply be trying to "network" and lay the foundation for the working life...but its definately not working as planned.

i dun wana be mean to you...i will feel bad about it....i dun like to feel bad....but ur certainly not doing anything to help at all...it gets worse with every word you say, every expression you make, every comment you give...the sight of you makes me wana look in another direction...hearing that you are coming makes me wana leave...and knowing that there are times when i will be obliged to send you home, as much as i dread it, terrifys me... i may juz have to sing my way throughout the entire journey...or play my trance really loud, hoping that you will develop a headache and have a rest (read: shut up)...i will have to really step-on-it and waste precious fuel juz so that i will reach your carpark asap...

shit...im being mean...look what you've done to me....

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